Just Prose

Now how are you feeling in yourself?

In all the questions I expected to hear in the midwife’s office at my 12 week appointment, this one wasn’t one of them. What was more surprising was that after I made a casual, almost flippant, “Oh I’m fine” response, the midwife circled back to ask me this question again in a different, more direct way. “Have you had any feelings of hopelessness, depression, overwhelming fear or anxiety?” I gave a more serious no answer and she advised me, equally seriously, that should that ever change and I feel unable to cope emotionally that I should contact the midwifery practice or my doctor.

We moved on to the questions I was expecting, but during and after the appointment, my mind kept landing on her question about my mental health. It had never occurred to me to consider my mental health in any more depth than what I would have done pre-pregnancy. On examining my current circumstances more carefully, it occurred to me that, yes a lot had changed and there were more instances happening that were making me stressed. 

take a closer look at mental health in pregnancy and consider how mothers might take care of this part which often gets missed or denigrated to lower down the list of importance. 

Considering the huge toll that pregnancy takes on the body for instance, it makes sense that it could have an impact on mental health. The body goes through immense physical changes to accommodate the growing fetus. A lot of the change also brings a measure of discomfort. No one told me before I became pregnant, that my breasts and nipples would become intensely sensitive or that I would get ‘lightning crotch’ (which is as awful as it sounds), shooting pains in the groin area, reminiscent of a bladder infection- but caused by the stretching of the uterus.  

A huge amount of change also happens to hormones- with ramping up of hormones such as oestrogen, progesterone and prostoglandin (check this). The result is increased tiredness, aches and pains and mood swings. These would be hard for anyone to navigate. During pregnancy, conversations with friends and relatives often revolve around what an exciting time of life pregnancy is, how happy you must be, or the ‘you’re glowing’ comment. However, for many women, this is hardly the experience, but without the social acceptance to express a vastly different viewpoint, many women are being shortchanged the chance to discuss these difficulties. Therein lies a problem for mental health- without license to be anything but overjoyed all the time, there is the potential for isolation, societal pressure and stress all of which can create poor mental health outcomes. 

A lot of people have heard of postpartum depression, but not so many people realise that it is also fairly common for pregnant women to experience perinatal depression (a study carried out in XXX found 15 out of every 100 women experienced some kind of mental health issue during pregnancy- the most common being depression and anxiety). 

For many women, aside from the many physical changes that often come with pregnancy are the very real social and economic implications of pregnancy and becoming a parent. When Emma found out she was pregnant with her 2nd baby 9 months after having her first, her first reaction wasn’t happiness. Instead, she felt a panic attack looming under the surface as she tried to remain calm. She felt barely able to cope with one baby, how on earth was she meant to have two! It became even worse when she turned to her sister for comfort and advice and once the news was shared, was greeted by screams and euphoria. She didn’t have the heart to douse her excitement so instead forfeited the chance to share some of her worries and played along. 

 Many women find they are worried about the baby- and a l

I went from wishing that I would get to the point where I could feel the baby kick for the level of reassurance it would offer to worrying why I hadn’t felt the baby kick- when was the last time I felt her kick! My sister had her placenta attach along her front side meaning there was an extra layer between her stomach and the baby so she was very late in feeling her baby kick. She arranged extra scans to reassure herself that the baby was alright. 

The impact is often immediate on your social life as chances are you are no longer able to drink alcohol. Physical activity is now limited and while you can still do all the activities you did prior to pregnancy with some exceptions, the very act of having to consider pregnancy is an added level of stress.

Becoming a parent means suddenly having the responsibility for a person’s well being. 

So how can we protect our mental health during pregnancy and beyond. One of the best ways is to find one person you can confide your thoughts and feelings to. The saying, ‘better out than in is’ is old and reliable for a reason. Having someone to listen to you will help act as a source of release from the daily pressures. Think about what you want from the person, whether its just an ear to listen to worries and fears, or a desire for some advice and signpost that person at the start of the conversation with what you need. If you don’t have anyone to talk to you could consider hiring a therapist to speak with if this is financially available to you.

If this isn’t an option, there are still other options for getting some of your thoughts out of your head. You could try journaling or drawing and painting as an outlet. Another good way to take care of your mental health is to move your body. This can take all kinds of forms, from walking to a dance class or yoga to taking part in a team sport, just remember to speak to your midwife or doctor if it is a new and vigorous activity to get the all clear.  

Tap into your intuition

You may not realise this or always see this as true with your new and changing body, but You know yourself better than anyone else. An important part of taking care of yourself is tapping into what feels right for you and staying clear of what doesn’t. Often this gets forgotten as you navigate midwife appointments or try to think about birthplans and maternity leave. It may seem like there is a right way to do all of these things. For me, I wanted to know everything there was to know about birthing a baby- I devoured courses and books, videos and forums. It helped me to feel more informed and prepared. For my best friend on the otherhand, she didn’t want to know a thing.. The less information the better. She knew that all the information would overwhelm and frighten her and her best plan of action was to relax and go with the flow. This is a prefect example of staying true to yourself and what works best for you.